Third Battle of Newbury
P.O. BOX 5520, Newbury, Berks. RG14 7YW.
Tel: 01635 45544 Fax: 01635 45545 24 hr info: 01635 550552
E-mail: email@example.com URL: http://www.gn.apc.org/newbury
Att: Schnews Editors
Fax No: 01273 685913
For Immediate Release 26/9/96
Today (Thursday) two pixies at the Chainsaw Hard standing, Tot Hill, were visited by Hampshire's finest. The pixies were in the process of converting gas bottles into wood burners to keep us all toastie this winter. After a lovely debate Mr Plod informed the miscreants that they were possibly committing criminal damage and they (Mr Plod) were considering arresting the pixies on the suspicion of criminal damage. Further, Plod confiscated the bottle that was being worked on and confiscated another, existing burner that was installed in a caravan.
Even more ludicrous, Plod then proceeded to nose around and impounded a spiked metal rod used for hanging lamps on, claiming that it belonged to the Highways Department, although the rod was saying nothing.
Further Information: Third Battle of Newbury Office 01635 45544